Unheard Stories

What is the hardest of raising a daughter without a male support?.Let me rephrase the situation for you what will be the hardest part of raising a daughter without male support ,male support not merely husband lt could be your father,brother,son or any of the male member of your family ,in a place like Afghanistan or some parts of Pakistan?

Well to be honest for me the hardest part will be to preserve her identity ,let her be what she is .The question is not only for a family to give her the respect make her feel heard or acknowledged .It is about, will our society will accept her with all her dignity?

Dressing up as a boy and earning bread and butter for family,Bacha Posh that is what they are known as.That is still a hard reality for us to accept but where existence for women without man is inevitable,it seems to be a quite normal practice.

For whole lot of reason and circumstances a family choses  their daughter to be raise as a son ,be it for social stigma,or for keeping orthodox tradition alive because there is a birth to a girl rather than boy in their family or I have even come across that if there is no son than raising a daughter as a son will give hope to have a son in next pregnancy,or be it for escorting female members of family out or working out house errands.

Imagine how it feels to be in someone else shoes ,in someone’s else body.Trapping and caging femininity of yours,chopping down hairs and walking like man,deepening your voice so only you can be heard,understood,acknowledged.How it feel to kill apart of yourself without killing yourself?

It feel good to be free,doing all the things you have never imagine of doing as a girl.But how long?.Once puberty hit ,physical and metabolic changes in body occur it pushes in the state of delima where no longer embracing fake masculinity or natural femininity heals the wound of puberty revealing biological gender.

Despite all,above all there is a heart beating ,waiting anticipatedly to be loved,heard and appreciated.Souls awaiting for miracles and stories that needs to be heard!







Unfair and Lovely:A moment to rejoice.

Shadism or colourism refers to discrimination on the basis of skin colour or tone.living in the most developed era (up till now) our society and people still cuddle the belief of ranking people by their skin tone.

If you are brown then you have surely witnessed the south asian culture if you have dark coloured skin.It is a dilemma in our society that favours women that are light coloured rather than women that are of dark colour or I would say chocolate colour women because they are often denied and mis- treated at their workplace ,young girls even in school or colleges ,and they are often tortured that they will not find a right spouse just because they are dark toned.

Pax Jones a 21 year old photographer and creative director in texas along with her friends launch UNFAIR AND LOVELY   a campaign to proclaim and praise women with dark coloured tones with all their dignity.

pax jones

Over the past year not only women but men to have become beauty conscious or colour conscious . A lot  of lightening creams or whitening  creams that have been introduce in market are gaining attention of many women and men who want to lighten their skin in order to improve their live and to stand out but on the other hand many of these creams are harmful and have bizarre effect on human skin.

But, above all what I believe and what we need to realize is that dark is beautiful to and beauty comes in all shape ,size and colour.In a nutshell what is more important is how we deal with this adversity ,how much we are comfortable in our own skin.It does not matter how much fair ,or pretty you are from outside because what matter is the beauty that lies inside.

In the end beauty does fade away what remain is the beauty that lies in our heart and in our soul.No matter what shade your skin falls in we all are equally beautiful.

Do comment and share your experience !

Fat Shamming

25.9 waist -to -hip ratio of .87and  waist-to-chest ratio .74, that is the ideal size for a women you can even google it.Does this worry you?.Does this make you feel ashamed of your body?or were you ever be the victim of sizeism?

Sizeism refers to discrimination on the grounds of height and weight.Spending hours and hours on media,online magazines,social media noticing observing every possible body shape that our society accept with their so called standards of  what they call ideal body should look like slime legs,great height,round booty ,perfect curves and never ending list of their perfections.

Sizeism is widely neglected and approved at the same time but why ?to find the answer you have need to look at the society and that make it easier to understand that they don’t like fats or more correctly fat people ,they aren’t accepted as who they are just because their body size doesn’t fit to their requirements , more often sizeism affect fat people they are mostly ignored in their workplaces or they suffer from peer pressure.

From weight loss fads to thin attractive models on magazines to the infamous obesity epidemic   , is representing what beauty actually looks like .What  is more worst than that is our society build upon insecurities in ones life about theirs shape and size or  even  height  That being fat is likely to being unattractive,unappealing not up to their standards of what ideal women look like.But thing to ponder is also that who set these standards in society are they men or women? well that’s a complete new argument .

But back on track if I share you one of those things that i observed growing up as asian and more precisely in brown society you will always encounter with is  itni moti! wazan kam karo,is ki to shadi nhi hoti ,log kya kahe ge!.(you are so fat , you need to loose weight, you are not going to find a right proposal ,what the people are going to say).

Sizeism is a discrimination without age boundaries, you can go from age 5 to 25 within a second suffering from the anxiety and depression about their weights .It creates a huge adverse affect people suffer from mental traumas, mental health problems and it turns out that it creates more worst affects than sizeism could ever have,it will create a double epidemic sizeism +mental health.

In a nut shell what I believe is that in so many years of advancement and knowledge what it haven’t thought us is that how to love our selves with all the flaws how to appreciate our selves with all the short comings , not only about loving ourselves but to love other appreciate other accept other with all the flaws .Everyone is beautiful attractive regardless of their body shape ,complexion.Time to accept that beauty come in all shapes and sizes.


Molding Adversities

How often you feel down ,broke,lost,not motivated  enough ,feeling gloomy,somber melancholy? or have you ever feel adverse nerves stretching ,feeling hope less ,lost not  able to stand fight and conquer.

How many times  in a day you see people suffering ,suffering from their  body and heart, body and brain .They are in constant rivalry  with themselves with their  problems.

People suffer from cancer, brain tumor ,physical disability  of extremities , unable see, talk, walk , hear,people suffer from polio , gangrene and so many other  life threatening diseases they fight ,they strive ,they overcome their  adversities ,they does not let their circumstances  define them.

As a human and as in reality we all go through these harsh feelings ,we all have different stories,different  chapters, different situations and different  circumstances .We all are own hero of our own life,no one but all on our own.

No one have ever achieved glory by paying it safe even in adverse situation if one only  remember the art of changing minds and know the right perspective ,right action,thoughts so definitely  he/she can bring out  positivity  from  negativity 

We need to empower our power to change in our greatest opportunity of our life. Furthermore what I believe  is important to win the war against adversity is peace of mind,patience , trust in god and art of changing our dilemmas  into our opportunity  .

We can ameliorate  our lives by the way we think and by the way we react .Be need a broader  vision of things that affect us ,bother us that is conceivable   that what we think is an adversity is truly  an amazing opportunity and yes we all know that opportunities often comes disguised  and in adversity.

In a nut shell it is explicit that every one is a sufferer is a victim of adversity in his/her life int his world but what make each of us unique  and to stand out is the way in which we mold ourselves and our adversities in to our opportunities.   

I merely existed


Storm what exactly that word mean .A natural disaster. For many of  us it not more than just a disaster.But it was a lot more than for me  in the last year.I clearly remember everything .It was a metanoia for me.

The night before the day I was going to receive my graduation certificate  and there was going to be whole ceremony.My parents was going to come from all the way from Manchester to attend my high school ceremony.But all that happen I never ever imagined it to be happening in my nightmares  even .

It was egregious,it was erroneous,a lost no one can ever full-fill.I lost my parents in a plan crash .I had worked really hard for what i was going to achieve tomorrow,I got plans for celebration with my family.But all the things come to an end .

I couldn’t realize at that how big the lost is ,it seems like the whole world had become to big and  I am to small and lonely .Words are not enough to tell what was going inside me.My thoughts were killing me ,I can’t tell you how I have spend that night.

My life seems to change a lot on wards, I believe it was a storm in my life which change a lot in my and take away  what mean to me the most.

If you have read  this than   thank you! .This is the is the story in response to the one word prompt challenge .Hope you like it.




Charity a inner peace.

Have you ever stumbled upon and it make you think by your self  about the uncertainty that how few people can live in luxury while billion dwell in suffering ,wretchedness,poverty?

I believe that billion of that existed from the suffering of poverty exist just because of the help of god or by charity.charity clean our soul and mind.

No one has ever become poor by giving -Anne frank

charity is a helping hand streached  to save some one from the  inferno of their present lives.you can not disagree that more you give the more you have.Many people have mixed thought about the charity that it should only be given to whom they are really in   need and many people have mixed thought about streetbeggers.

But I believe it is our duty to help someone ,get down for some one and raise them up.but most important is the intentions of giving the charity ,I believe charity does not only mean giving away ,helping others  it mean some thing  for which your soul is satisfied from you sacrificing your pain and helping some one to forget their ones .I can explain this with one quotation that I love the most  is


A bone to a dog is not the charity .charity is the bone shared with the dog when you are as hungry as    the dog is .  -Jack London

It is not only about giving        I believe it is far beyond that it is about how much effort how much Love we put in that .to bring a smile in some one face ,to find the solution of their problems.

Get down for some one get up for some one believe me you will find your inner peace.Every day is the new beginning start it with a smile and give to others for free.

They call me girl.

We teach girls shame ,close your legs,cover yourself.we make them feel as though  born female they are already   guilty of something and so girls grew up to be a women who silence themselves.they grew us to be the women who can not say what they truly think and they grew up and this is the worst thing we do to girls they grew up to be the women who have turned pretense in to an art form.

-Chimamamda Nagozi Adichie

Gender discrimination is the biggest millstone in the prosperity of our society. It is one of the most ponderous matter of today’s world.we live in a male dominient   society    .women are taken as inferior creature than man.women from any path of life either she is a mother ,a daughter,a girl,or a working women never the less if she is a female that’s enough identity that make our society to put fingers on her.they are considered as a burden in their family and society.and when it comes to chose between the son and daughter so surely  many of us chooses a son over a daughter either for giving good education,giving good food,giving good life style.

These all are basic indignity from family to girls when boys are regarded as pillars of tomorrow Still after what we called our society modernized but it is still bounded with orthodox cultures,and traditions.Better education,better life style is not only the thing a girl or a women needs what she truly want is to have the same right , same position ,same appreciation which a man demands.  what she truly want is that she shouldn’t be considered inferior then men’s,there family shouldn’t be ashamed of them ,they shouldn’t feel that its a insult that they are being blessed with a girl.

We need to envision to promote girls and women’s on every path and race of life .educating a man mean educating a men but educating a women mean  educating  nation.as a society we need to go beyond stereotypes and should espy that each individual person either male of female can make the world a better place to live.